her name was jamie.  she was white, in her 50s and sported a permanent scowl on her face.  the hub and i were looking at a lamp and we wanted to ask if they still had one more in stock.  so he went to the nearest wal-mart salesperson. 

"hi.  i was wondering if you could help us with that lamp over there?"

"do i look like somebody who could climb those shelves?"

"i wasn't asking you to climb or reach for those top shelves.  i just wanted to ask a question…"

and i didn't wait to hear the rest of the hub's story.  i was fuming mad.  and all that time, looking at both of them from a distance, i thought they were having a pleasant conversation.  it turned out that the hub was just trying to rein his patience in as he wrapped up the exchange.

i went to the jewelry counter and asked to speak to a manager.  when a concerned male manager came and asked me what the problem was, i calmly and slowly explained to him what happened.  i told him, "we don't appreciate being talked to that way.  if she had a bad day, if something pissed her off beforehand, it's not our problem."  my voice was shaking as i tried to remain composed. 

"yes, ma'am.  i can tell you're upset.  and i appreciate you telling us about this.  i will talk to jamie.  in the meantime, why don't i help you with that lamp?"

in the end we didn't buy the lamp, or lamps for that matter.  my jovial mood was ruined.  so much for salespeople being all nice during the holiday season.

but there was a certain amount of smug satisfaction when, just before we left, we saw jamie being led to the office for some talking-to by the manager.  if i was really in a combative mood, i would have done away with the manager and just went up to her and said, "a few minutes ago, you asked my husband if you looked like somebody who could [or would, i think you meant to say, jaaay-mee] climb those shelves.  well let me tell you what you look like to me.  you look like somebody who works for wal-mart and who is supposed to help customers like me.  or at the very least, not be the bitch that you are." 

she was lucky i didn't pull out the "is it because we're not white" card on her.  that would have put her in serious trouble.  oh jamie, dear jamie, be grateful i still had some christmas spirit left in me after you axed off big chunks of it. 

i am no expert in friendster but i do suspect that when someone answers your invite with a "no" or "block user," more likely than not you won't see it again on your waiting confirmation page and worse, you will never be notified of the invitee's answer.  your invite just simply… disappears. 

my theory is it was the wife who rejected my invite.  when you are a couple and you only have one friendster profile between you, chances are it was the wife that created it;  she's the one that holds the password; she updates the page;  she's the one that has the say as to whom to invite as well as who to accept and reject. 

so yes, i point my finger at her.  and i would like to believe that the ex doesn't have any idea about all this, otherwise it means he's in on it and the sting of rejection will hurt twice as much.  because really, he has no reason — no reason whatsoever — to not want to be my friend, 12 years after the fact. 

wasn't he the one who left me hanging with a marriage proposal that he never followed through on? 

he fell in love with me during our college years.  i broke up with him because he was way too serious and i wasn't about ready to give up my dreams of becoming a lawyer.  he continued to follow me around.  all his friends begged me to take him back.  he came here to the US, wrote me long love letters, went back for me and proposed marriage.  which i stupidly said yes to because it was all so romantic, this idea of a boy who was still in love with me despite it all.  and then he left, both of us acting all sad, and i never heard from him again.

i spent precious pesos calling him up telling him it was off — this promise to marry each other — and promptly returned the ring to his grandmother.  i didn't wait for him to explain.  not that he had anything to say by way of explanation.  clearly, he had changed his mind and i just wanted it over and done with, the whole charade.

my ego took a hard beating but my heart was intact. which is why, years later, when i ran into his stepmom and she told me he was now married and had a baby boy, i was only too happy for him.  and which is why, now that we are in the same country,  i wanted him to be my friend on friendster.

too bad,  catching up would have been grand.  we would've have laughed like crazy over that marriage proposal.  and i would have wanted to get to know the wife and kids (i saw two on the headshot).