Reclaiming My Waist and My Butt

How I lost my waist and my butt is a long story.  It was sometime between my 30th and 32nd.  Somewhere between the thyroid illness and the misguided belief that I could still eat and drink with abandon, despite the years marching on.

It was while I wasn't looking.

But I am waging a war to reclaim what is rightfully mine:  a rockin' body.  My breasts will always be small.  My ankles will never be as shapely.  My legs have stopped growing where I wished they would go on for miles.  But by god, I will have my waist and my butt back.

Just you wait and see. 

Sounds (Nothing) Like a Plan.

I will lose weight.  *invoking the universe to conspire with me that it happens, and soon!*

Our primary care physician, aside from performing physical check-ups and dispensing prescriptions, also hawks books.  Well, his book in particular.  He looks at the husband then he looks at me and he starts talking about proper nutrition and exercise.  Not that we are anywhere near obese, but doctors surely must have an eye for people whose eating habits are poor and who barely lift a toe to exercise.  The flab around our waists didn't help either.

So after his speech, he says, "If you want to know more, you may buy my book."  

And because we are gullible (and desperate), we did.  

The book suggests weighing one's self everyday as opposed to the common belief that one should wait a few days or a week before the next weigh-in.  The latter is anchored on the perception that really, one day doesn't make a difference.  Wrong.  A day does make a difference.  And only through daily weighing can one maintain one's weight. 

The first goal is to maintain weight.  And after this has been achieved, that's when one starts devising a plan to lose weight and continue monitoring his/her weight every day, until the desired weight is achieved.  According to the many testimonials at the end of the book, this system works.   

So okay, I've been at it, everyday.  And much to my horror, not only am I 5 pounds over my weight at the start of the year, it seems my weight is increasing two pounds at a time.  Of course I'm bloated and PMS-ing, but I will have none of those excuses.  This calls for (semi-)drastic measures. 

I think back to a time the other year (2005), when, in less than 3 months, I managed to lose 12 pounds.  How did I do that?  The husband reminded me that all I subsisted on was yogurt (I bought boxes of them) and that despite the cramped space of our apartment, I jogged and did jumping jacks till I was blue in the face. 

Oh yeah, I remember now.  I was that desperate to get into my old Levi's jeans once again.  That pair of jeans was my measuring tape.  Time and again, I would try them on and couldn't even close the buttons.  And then one day, not really expecting anything, I put them on and they fit!  I didn't even realize I'd lost 12 pounds by then.   What a hoot that was.

These days, I don't think I can live on yogurt alone.  But the husband and I, taking advantage of the beautiful weather, have been doing our afternoon walks for almost a week now.  And I've bought cans of soup and crackers.  And there's a list of grocery items I need to make:  Slimfast Optima shakes, low-fat cheeses, tuna, salmon, tofu (need to find delectable recipes first), brown rice, frozen veggies, and the like.  

Happy days, woo-hoo!

Or not. *insert glum I-can't-give-up-adobo face here*