bridesmaid ka lang!

i have just been appointed bridesmaid at my cousin's june 2007 wedding.  a bridesmaid… how strange, at my age.  but she said not to worry, all the other bridesmaids are married and around my age too.  after all, her fiance is 13 years older than her.  naturally, the groom's men would most probably be in their early 40's too.

so i breathed a sigh of relief.  and i proceed to daydream about the dress and my hair and make-up.  june, as in any other month in the philippines, will be humid.  i worry mostly about my make-up melting in my face faster than the bride and groom can say "i do."  but then again, i leave that problem to the hopefully skillful make-up artist.

so it is final then:  i am going home.  whatever doubts i previously had, i must now set aside.  there was that plan to go back to school.  and this thing about finances, 2007 being the reckoning year of mortgage payments and tight budgets.  but she is my dearest cousin, the one i am closest to.  it was she who met us at the airport, who took us around the beautiful city of san francisco and to napa valley during our first few weeks here in the US.  she who was (and is) always generous with her time and her ear and her home.  i don't tell her but i do love her.  so i will make sure i am there standing at the church in my three-inch heels, melted make-up and fabulous bridesmaid's dress as she vows to love and cherish the one man she's been with the last 4 years.  i hope he knows how lucky he is.

i cannot see beyond or outside the wedding.  i don't know who i will be seeing or meeting up with when i get there.  there's M, of course, that's for sure.  everyone else i seem to have lost contact with, not least of all my supposed bestfriend K.  the last time i tried to call her, she was too busy with a client.  after that, i stopped trying.  i am counting on what people say — with real friends, you always pick up where you left off.

i am not excited yet.  it's still too far off to be in that state.  but the thought of CNT lechon, guadalupe mangoes, chicharon, ngohiong, and pastillas (the kind you buy at that stall in SM) is enough to make me homesick and hungry.