I. Am. Woman.



F is "not" your friend on friendster.

November 30, 2006

rejection in any form and by anyone stings.  my invitation to become someone's friend on friendster has just been rejected.  or so i think.  consider the proof:  first, there was no confirmation that typically says "so and so is now your friend on friendster."  second and more importantly, my invite is not on my friendster's "waiting for confirmation" page. 

i am no expert in friendster but i do suspect that when someone answers your invite with a "no" or "block user," more likely than not you won't see it again on your waiting confirmation page and worse, you will never be notified of the invitee's answer.  your invite just simply… disappears. 

my theory is it was the wife who rejected my invite.  when you are a couple and you only have one friendster profile between you, chances are it was the wife that created it;  she's the one that holds the password; she updates the page;  she's the one that has the say as to whom to invite as well as who to accept and reject. 

so yes, i point my finger at her.  and i would like to believe that the ex doesn't have any idea about all this, otherwise it means he's in on it and the sting of rejection will hurt twice as much.  because really, he has no reason — no reason whatsoever — to not want to be my friend, 12 years after the fact. 

wasn't he the one who left me hanging with a marriage proposal that he never followed through on?
 

he fell in love with me during our college years.  i broke up with him because he was way too serious and i wasn't about ready to give up my dreams of becoming a lawyer.  he continued to follow me around.  all his friends begged me to take him back.  he came here to the US, wrote me long love letters, went back for me and proposed marriage.  which i stupidly said yes to because it was all so romantic, this idea of a boy who was still in love with me despite it all.  and then he left, both of us acting all sad, and i never heard from him again.

i spent precious pesos calling him up telling him it was off — this promise to marry each other — and promptly returned the ring to his grandmother.  i didn't wait for him to explain.  not that he had anything to say by way of explanation.  clearly, he had changed his mind and i just wanted it over and done with, the whole charade.

my ego took a hard beating but my heart was intact. which is why, years later, when i ran into his stepmom and she told me he was now married and had a baby boy, i was only too happy for him.  and which is why, now that we are in the same country,  i wanted him to be my friend on friendster.

too bad,  catching up would have been grand.  we would've have laughed like crazy over that marriage proposal.  and i would have wanted to get to know the wife and kids (i saw two on the headshot). 

apparently, i'm the only one who thinks it is possible for exes to be friends — in friendster or outside of it.

Posted by theicequeen at 3:20 pm | permalink

Previous Comments

Given the depth of your history with this guy, sting of rejection notwithstanding, the new wifey should be a bit insecure. However, that should not go so far so as to reject a harmless invite, unless of course she knows something you don’t. Maybe he still mumbles your name in his sleep or something else less direct to the point. Perhaps you have moved on more than he has. Lots of possibilities really, none of course being satisfactory at all. A pity really. And when you think about it, it’s more his loss than yours. Sounds to me like you’ve found yourself some semblance of closure, with him I have my doubts. Us men, emotionaly retarded as we may seem, carry flames for a very very long time. Best of luck to you and him and her, for the kiddies sake.

Posted by Adam Mordo at November 30, 2006, 5:09 pm

I have moved on. And I think he has too. After all, he beat me to the marriage line, and has two kids to show for it. (Not that it’s a contest, LOL.) And as it always goes with people who have moved on, I don’t expect that he ever talked about me to the wifey — not in some big significant way anyway. Just as what happened didn’t matter much to me, I expect that it didn’t matter much to him. You could be right though: maybe she does know something. Or he may have blurted something out in the past. A marriage proposal is marriage proposal, after all. It is always a serious matter, especially if it’s your hubby involved, however distant the past may be.

Oh well, maybe I just really wanted to tell him, “You were one crazy guy.” That would have been a blast, to laugh about everything now.

Posted by theicequeen at December 1, 2006, 12:35 pm

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would-be lawyer turned homemaker. (day)dreamer. cloud watcher. moon lover. hankers for a life that's bursting at the seams with books and wine and art. believes she can only get better with age -- and swears by it on her three-inch heels.

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jundics:

Hi jopie,
murag serious kaay kas imung new entries da! Take it easy….and tnx for sharing, i wouldnt have known such sensitivities….cheers to blogging!

himantayon:

agi agi lang :) ..

kat:

jops, i can’t open my personal mail here. :( but u can email me at aconsola@lexmark.com. :)

theicequeen:

hi isay! i’m fine… a li’l bit stressed out but fine. congrats diay oi! yehey! graduate na ka before you know it! so happy for you! :-)

theicequeen:

kaith, i sent you email. :-)

isay:

hoppin’..musta naka jopay??

Kat:

jops, are u going home here in cebu?? :)

tiris:

haha ka tag-an ko! haha! anyway, missya where have u been? abi ko niuli na ka. tawgi nya ko or tawgan tikaw hehe kutob kinsa kauna =P

theicequeen:

sus kaith, sugot jud ko! kana kung mo-salig ka nako. hehehe. baby-sitting newbie baya kaayo ko. ;-)

theicequeen:

bilib gyud ko nimo, tiris! hehehe. *wink wink*

Kat:

hi jops! sus, kung silingan lang unta ta no, i could leave raf with u. but then, he’s no angel. haha.

tiris:

jops, mao ni sya kadtong magpa drive nimo? hehehe!

theicequeen:

small world, mai noh, matud pang tiris. ;-)

mai:

i.hi ko ni ngoy (inger) and mike (luke)…

theicequeen:

aw, kung magkita mi’g balik, tiris. *assuming* hehehe. bitaw oi, they seemed like a really nice couple.

tiris:

how small the world gets. inger was my classmate in UP hehehe! super shy. how are they? send my regards if kaila pa sya hehe *uwaw*

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