i met him for the first time this afternoon and he had the honor of doing my first ever pap smear.  i'm pretty sure in this country where teenage sex and pregnancy, birth control and the plan B medication are topics not worth flinching about, having a woman of 33 come into his office saying she hasn't had a pap smear in her life must've have been quite a shock.  that is, if doctors are still capable of being shocked. 

he explained the three-step process of my first ever pap smear:  first, an examination  of the external and internal reproductive organ — the skin around and inside the vagina, the pubic hair, etc.  second, inserting the speculum  inside the vagina and collecting cervical cells for testing.  and third, inserting two fingers into the vagina to check the uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries. 

the whole time this was going on, he was talking a mile a minute, explaining each step and easing up my discomfort — over the metal coldness of the speculum and the very slight pain it brought and over the general fact that any examination that requires a woman to open her legs is always an embarassing experience (for me at least) — by dispensing funny remarks. 

on the outset, everything looks good he said.  there are no indications of any abnormalities or problems.  but there are more tests to undergo, more appointments with other doctors perhaps, to find out why, after all these years of trying, we still can't have a baby.  in the meantine, he gave me the following recommendations:

1.  take prenatal vitamins (ask any pharmacist, they would know)
2.  stop using feminine wash (the vagina is not meant to be squeaky clean;  in any case, it is self-cleaning)
3.  have my thyroid levels checked every 6 weeks

in three months, we should have a clear idea where we're at in this baby-making venture.  and despite my aversion for lab tests and x-rays and what-have-you, i will endure.  i know dr. Z will take care of me — equally if not more than any female OB-GYN would.